Life coaching for balance and success

 

How do I know it's time to change my life?

Here's a quick question for you: when you wake up in the morning, how often do you feel optimistic and enthusiastic about how the day will go? Don't think too hard - this is a gut-reaction we're looking for.

  1. If it's 90% or more of the time, then congratulations, you are one of the lucky few!

  2. If it's less than 90%, then you might benefit from a stock-check on yourself, to see what you can improve.

  3. Anything less than 70%: why on earth are you doing this to yourself? Something needs to change!

Life is short enough as it is, and full of turbulence and suffering for all of us at various times - but there's no need to bump along numbly at the bottom. If you are prepared to learn how to cope with the knocks and find a new way through, you'll be able to enjoy the highs and squeeze a whole lot more out of it!

 

Why do I need a life coach?

Because everyone in this life benefits from having their thinking expanded by someone they trust. Even coaches have coaches (I have 3, for different specialties!), because it's the external view, the absence of judgment or agenda, the creativity of two minds together that is so valuable. Success and balance in life come from exploiting and stretching your natural talents, and from unhooking yourself from destructive or distractive compulsions.

A good coach will take your thinking to places you had no idea existed, and help you to climb out of pits you thought you were stuck in forever. A great coach will challenge you to become the full-sized version of you, and support you all the way.

 

How do I choose a life coach?

Your best friend may prove to be your perfect life coach; however most people find they prefer the objectivity they get from working with someone they didn't previously know.

Most coaches recommend that you interview at least 3 coaches before settling on one, as that is the best way of appreciating their rapport and style. Don't forget: although all coaches are trained in the building-blocks of coaching, how they apply it will vary completely, and it is a question of whether their style works for you.

 

Here are some questions you should ask yourself and/or them:

  1. Do you feel relaxed with them? This is the big question, since the coach/client relationship is all about trust. Do they respond to the things you say with interest and compassion, perhaps even supportive humour? Do you feel as though you want to tell them things?

  2. Have they demonstrated a strong ability to get to the heart of the issue? Do they ask incisive questions even at the interview that start you thinking, or do you feel as though you're both tinkering at the edges?

  3. Are you looking for structure or creativity? Any given coach will be stronger in one or the other, so it's as well to know which you value most at this time. This is where it can be useful to use different coaches for their particular natural skills.

  4. Are they willing to ask you difficult questions? While no-one wants to be hit over the head with aggressive questioning, a timid coach will never help you to grow. Sometimes the coach may need to be very direct indeed, and their ability to do so while still allowing you to feel totally safe is a mark of their quality.

  5. Have they been trained at a reputable school? Courses vary radically in their quality, unfortunately, as coaching is not yet regulated.

  6. Are they also an NLP Master? NLP allows a far more effective release of emotional blockages, allowing you to move forward with less effort. There are a number of other useful tools that coaches will probably have in their kit, but NLP is generally regarded as a minimum.

  7. Do they have a well-thought-out intake process? This should include confidentiality statements and a clear set of measurable objectives for the coaching outcomes. These outcomes can be hard to measure, because your goals may change considerably during the coaching, so some intelligence is needed here.

I could be throwing time and money away on coaching that doesn't work.

It is possible, as with most services, that you will make a poor choice of provider. This is why you need to:

  1. put a monetary value on the change you want. For example, would you pay £400 for the confidence and strategy to leave your job and return to university? £800 for swapping an empty nest for a well-thought-out business idea? £1000 to get you from a 5-year-long depression into a healthy relationship? Only you can say.

  2. interview the coach well enough to have confidence in their ability to challenge and support you.

  3. agree clear outcomes with the coach at the interview (and in more detail at the first session), so that you both are clear what you are working towards.

  4. find a determination to use the time well. The surest way to waste the time you are paying for is to regard coaching as a magic wand, where you can be passive while all changes around you. This is an active process, and the more you engage yourself in it, the more you will get out of it.

I'm ready to make changes - what do I do now?

You contact me (Penelope Else) for a brief informal chat, either over the phone by email, and if we both feel we might be able to work effectively together, we arrange to meet for a longer interview (about 30-45 minutes) over a coffee somewhere mutually convenient.

 

Only after that meeting do you commit to a series of coaching sessions (which can be in person or over the phone).